North Korean Nukes

Vader has his Death Star. Dr. Evil had his "Death Ray." Kim Jong Il has his nukes. Small nukes, granted (1 kiloton is considered a small tactical nuclear weapon in our arsenal) but nukes nonetheless. Run away. Hide the kids. Ready the survival bunkers-- we have enough condensed milk and hash to survive the coming storm!

Seriously, what is it we are afraid of, again? A short, odd-looking madman has come into possession of a weapon that has the potential to kill hundreds of people at a time. I'm sure the wepons he has already sold to fellow dictators and terrorist groups around the world has killed thousands more, and besides, al Queada already borrowed some of our own planes to do more damage than that.

But nuclear weapons have radiation and, you know, you can't see it and it's icky. This is the same line of reasoning that has kept us from lessening our reliance on foreign oil by expanding our nuclear power generation capacity. Like radiation is any more dangerous then CO2 emissions our toxic smog. Like allowing our economic future to be held hostage by camel-humping towelheads is any worse then the possibility of another 3-Mile Island. Less then 100 people died as a result of that accident; how many more have died in Iraq?

But we fear nukes-- unreasonably, in my opinion-- so our politicians must roar and bluster and blame. And we must cower and hide and tremble. The mighty United States, brought trembling to it's knees by what is, compared to our power, a mere firecracker. Iran must be loving this.

Personally, I'm a lot more terrified of missing a payment on a credit card or watching the Bears lose to Arizona. My fears, while more mundane, are eminently more likely to cause me grief then are the nuclear weapon of Kim Jong Il.

Mark Foley: Tackling the Issues.

Forget North Korean nuclear tests. Forget the Iraq war debate. Never mind Anna Nicole's sons' suspicious death.

We have a perverted congressperson.

Lay aside, dear readers, your worries about the border, Social Security, terrorism, religious fundamentalism and T.O.'s attempted suicide. Concern yourself not with the mundane worries of the work-a-day world.

There's a (cyber) sex scandal in the Halls of Power. The Earth quakes with the weight of it. Indecency! Perversion! Stop the presses! There's a filthy, sick politician afoot! Oh, the Humanity!

Something about the blogosphere just fails to lend itself to biting sarcasm being dropped into an endless pit of cold, dark cynicism. What a wonderful story to feed the Entertainment Tonight-blotted minds of the sheep. What a lovely fairy tale to tell the kiddies (particularly if both you and they want to have nightmares.) Why fear terrorists, when our own children can be propostioned in the very heart of our own government? Keep the kids in the basement until they're 35, Security Moms... they are safe with no one anymore.

The only people who are safe in 2006 are... why, politicians, of course. They are safe from having to answer for their failures and safe from having to define their positions (other then the position that they are very, very anti-pedophile, and who can disagree with that?) They are safe, once again, from having to educate the public in any meaningful way and safe from having to be educated about that which they speak. And the media is safe, too. Safe from having to editorialize about oil futures and market pressures. Safe from having to investigate mundane issues like the cost of government subsidized healthcare and the cost of government subsidized retirement. Safe from having to explain the subtle intricacies of International and Constitutional law.

And thank God, too. That shit soooooooo puts me to sleep!